Surprised?

Were you surprised to find me standing in your driveway chatting away when you got home?

I was.

It isn't like me to just wander over like that. Oh, I have a long history of smiling and waving from my front porch. I'm friendly enough, affable even. But a bit shy, a bit socially awkward.

Then again, it's also not like me to invite people over, and yet that was exactly the mission I was on.

Do you like this “new” me?

I think I do.

What's funny is it's not only you. I mean. It's mostly you. I don't know if I would be doing any of it if not for you.

But, still.

It took the isolation of Covid to remind me that I've been a bit lonely… probably ever since we moved here.

You know my work situation. You might not know that it overlaps almost perfectly with the time I've lived here. You may be able to guess that I wouldn't change it. But there are disadvantages.

I'd been wanting to get to know you better this entire time. Hell, I'd been wanting to get to know all of you better this entire time. But, you know… shy… awkward…

And I probably shouldn't go into it… I don't know whether it's her upbringing or just where she grew up or what, but she didn't even think neighbors could be friends, not until I started pushing for it recently. There was always some reason we shouldn't spend time with any of you, outside of the big events.

I probably shouldn't go into it, but there was at least one instance where she just didn't bother passing on an invitation until after it was too late… one spring day, on the last day of school. I took the boys to get ice cream. Just the three of us.

So is it you? Oh, yes. Absolutely. I will make any excuse to see you, spend time with you. I need so much more of you in my life, you have no idea, none at all.

But I'm also finally building myself my own social circle. Learning to assert myself. Pushing past the shy impulses.

And, yeah. Teaching myself how to be less of a doormat.

So, yes. I was just as surprised to find myself in your driveway as you probably were. But I'm happy about it. It may seem silly, but I'm proud of myself.

I'm growing. After untold years of stagnation.

And I have you to thank for it, in so many ways. So, thank you. Thank you so, so much. You make me a better person.

I love you.